A vow renewal is a celebration of a marriage that already exists. There’s no legal side, no paperwork and no rules about where or how — which makes it one of the most joyful and relaxed ceremonies you can plan.
Why renew your vows?
Couples renew their vows for all kinds of reasons:
- a milestone anniversary
- the wedding they couldn’t have first time round — perhaps it was tiny, rushed or on a tight budget
- a celebration after a difficult time: illness, loss, or simply a tough few years
- so their children or grandchildren can be part of it
- because they simply want to celebrate being together
When is the right time?
Whenever feels right. Milestone anniversaries are popular — in the UK these include the 10th (tin), 25th (silver), 30th (pearl), 40th (ruby), 50th (golden) and 60th (diamond) — but there’s no minimum. Some couples renew after five years, some after fifty.
Who to invite
A vow renewal can be as small or as big as you like. Some couples keep it to just the two of them and their children. Others invite everyone who was at the wedding — plus everyone who’s joined the story since. There’s no expectation of gifts, so many couples say “no presents, just come and celebrate”.
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Book a free consultationWhere to hold it
Anywhere you have permission to be: your garden, the hotel where you got married, the pub where you had your first date, a beach you holiday at every year, a village hall, a barn or a restaurant. Because there’s no legal requirement, you’re free to choose anywhere — or even somewhere abroad.
What to wear
Whatever you like. Some people wear their original wedding outfit (if it fits!), some buy something new, some go smart-casual. Matching the style to your venue is usually the easiest guide.
Writing your new vows
Your original vows were promises about a future you hadn’t lived yet. Your renewed vows can reflect everything you’ve learned since. Try:
- looking back: what have you been through together, and what are you proud of?
- being specific: the little things they do that make life better
- looking forward: what do you want the next chapter to hold?
- reusing a line from your original vows, then adding what it means to you now
Our guide on how to write your own vows works just as well for renewals.
Ceremony ideas
- Your story so far, told by your celebrant — the funny, the tender and the chaotic
- Children or grandchildren giving readings, carrying the rings or walking you in
- The same reading or song as your wedding day
- A ritual such as a handfasting (perhaps with cords made from fabric from your wedding outfits), a sand ceremony with a colour for each child, or a time capsule to open at your next milestone
- New rings or an eternity ring, or re-exchanging your originals
- A slideshow or photo display of your years together
Planning a surprise vow renewal
Surprise vow renewals are wonderful — and they do happen. A few tips if you’re planning one:
- Pick a trusted helper or two to keep your partner busy and the secret safe.
- Create a cover story: a “family meal”, a “friend’s party”, or a weekend away.
- Talk to your celebrant privately to gather stories and memories.
- Have an outfit ready for your partner, or tell them to dress up for “dinner”.
- Think about whether your partner would genuinely love a big surprise — or prefer a small, private one.
How long does a vow renewal take to plan?
Anything from a few weeks to a year, depending on the size. For a small ceremony at home, a couple of months is plenty. For a bigger celebration at a venue, allow six months or more so you can book your date and celebrant.
